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26 Funny Periodic Table Puns That Will Make You Laugh All Damn Day

26 Funny Periodic Table Puns
There are some who are outright hotshots at physics, physiology, philosophy, while some are natural dabs at puns. So profound is their expertise that they can transmogrify semantics of modest origin into either unsavory or genuinely funny form. Allow us to present you with 26 funny periodic table puns because even chemists need it periodically - play of words, people.
Sai Kardile
Last Updated: Jun 3, 2018
Chemistry abounds in inside jokes
James Bond prefers it stirred, not shaken, whereas Ionic bond prefers it taken, not shared. We see some kind of bonding here, mates.
This article is our way of putting all puttering souls in their respective orbits. Remembering all those elements in periodic tables banjaxes our precious little noggin's configuration (pun, here). And we don't want that. So before you are tempted to blow some of your noble gases (they aren't noble from any angle and yes there's a pun there) and make the entire atmosphere unstable, we thought we would make things light and positively affinitive (pun everywhere). Whoa, we are on fire! And by now, you must have figured, we also dig some chemistry and it's on the table, oh boy, we are so in our element.

So, before we are saturated with our own 'pun-tasti-city' and start acting pre-phosphorous, we think it's time we presented you with funny 'periodic table puns', but here comes a ca(u)tion - don't blame us if you lose your electrons guffawing hard, hey and even if you lose, you'll be positive.
What would be your reaction if you got to know Oxygen and Magnesium are carrying on?
O Mg!
What do you think of good chemistry puns?
Seriously, we think they Ar gone.
Now, what would you do if good chemists start dying after hearing your lame chemistry jokes?
Barium, bury 'em.
What chemical relationship do cats and elements share?
Fe(iron)Li(Lithium)Ne(Neon).
What would you call our neighbor, Mr. Mony's enemy?
Antimony.
Why do you think Mr. Superman never liked chemistry?
Because it has Krypton.
What would you call a lowlife nincompoop thief?
Silicon.
If Helium is a noun, what is its pronoun?
He (Helium)
Do you think Sodium is some cool dude?
Na!
Mother: "Why would you not learn the periodic table?"
Kid: "cause it's so boron, ma!"
Scientist One: Can you see it?
Scientist Two: Can't believe it really existed!
Ah! Element of Surprise.
What do you do to a crinkled shirt?
Fe (Iron)
There's one good guy in the periodic table, know who?
Samarium
What would you say if you saw Nobelium and Silicon after a long time?
Long time No(Nobelium) Si(Silicon)
Emma finally decided to dump her boyfriend, because...
She couldn't barium (bear him).
How did Oxygen and Potassium's date go?
O(Oxygen)K(Potassium).
Boy: Hey girl, you made of Copper and Tellurium?
Girl: What?
Boy: 'Cause you are Cu(Copper)Te(Tellurium).
A poor Chemistry nerd's proposal got rejected, guess why?
Because he wrote Iodine Lutetium Vanadium Uranium to a girl, which meant I Luv U. We tell y'all folks, no matter how smart you are, you must never swank off, especially when the other party has no iota of interest in your turf.
There's one smart element in the f-block and he is...
Einsteinium
What would you call a person with technical affinity?
Technetium
Some girls were devastated after today's Chemistry class, know why?
They learned that Iron Man is actually a Fe(Iron) - Male(Man). God no! Chemistry is really twisted.
There's a man from the big blue planet and he seems famished...
Neptunium
What will happen if Iron Man and Silver Surfer decided to come together?
They will be allies as well as alloys.
Where do you put your dirty dishes, folks?
In the zinc, we suppose.
Girl's Father to Boy: How much do you make for a living?
Iron enough, I earn enough, take that old man.
What would you say, if you saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous cat-walking together?
OH SnaP!
We hope these puns will incentivize you to take the periodic table seriously, 'cause once you do, you will be able to catalyze more puns to our list. This also means that you will be in equilibrium with our grand spectrum of regaling and bamboozling the world through a chain reaction of word play.